Skills on my resume

So I was looking at my resume the other day and decided that there was a lot of skills that I could add. I, in my usual style, have made a list.

1) I'm an expert at walking into inanimate objects - walls, doors, plants, vehicles, desks. Even on stage, while acting in a play, I walk into things. That is true skill.

2) ACTING! Not to be confused with the movie and stage variety. I can act interested in things that would put a kid with ADHD to sleep! This is a strong skill for me.

3) Reading code - Not Morse or anything, but I have become an expert at reading text with typos. For example - Ti would tkae a presno a whileo t redat his but I can read it at normal speed. This is a useful skill to have I'm assuming.

There are more skills which escape my mind, but I will add them as and when I remember.