Saturday, November 5, 2011

Never bored!

Sometimes, things happen to me and I go "Of course!", because really, it is so weird, I can't expect it to happen to anyone else. These are such instances. Only, the "Of course" comes after the instance, but during it, all I'm thinking is "Seriously? Seriously? SERIOUSLY?" Grey's Anatomy style.

There are some incidents that happen to you in high school, that you choose to bury deep, deep down and choose to forget, but we all know that you're lying to yourself, because it's right there and all you can really do, is hope like hell that you never have to relive that again.

Since it's me we're talking about, I have to relive it. Many times over.

There is this language called Kannada. I'm not very fond of it (or any other language), but I had to study it at school. On the last few days of tenth grade, I learned that I had an audience of teachers outside my classroom door, who wanted to hear me read Kannada, because I apparently do such a stellar job of it. With my exquisite accent and all. Oh who am i kidding? Let's just say it's unique.

This was a day that was rather embarrassing, and I would give anything to never relive this. But then again, it happened. All too soon. I wish that I'm an old woman with Alzheimer's if this incident has to repeat itself for the third time. Anyway, here's what happened, the second time round.

A child comes up to me and asks me to speak in Kannada so that he can show his friends my funny accent. I politely laugh it off and REFUSE. Now there are other people, important people, around me when this happens, and I have no intention of making a fool of myself. Now, any reasonable person would think that this child would go away. But noooooo. He actually pulls out a toffee from his pocket and offers it to me asking, if I would talk in Kannada for a toffee. Yeah, that's right. It really happened.

I, of course, have to oblige him. It soon becomes the comedy hour as I am made to speak in many different languages. Hindi being my weakest point. But, I have had years of preparation, and while someone else would want to drown themselves, I actually enjoy it! I then show them my uncanny Scottish, Australian and American cheerleader (always a winner) accents and we all have a good laugh.

But seriously, how come these things happen to ONLY me?? I have no other friends who recount such stories, at least not in the frequency that I do! Like everyday!

I now, have been told that I speak "cultured Kannada" as opposed to the Kannada that the ordinary people speak. To further illustrate this, I was compared to Gossip Girl (the second time in as many months that this has happened). Fascinating stuff. Really.

As if this wasn't bad enough, my geyser exploded this morning. Well, not exploded, but there is a nice crack on it! I switched it on in the morning and then went to make myself some breakfast. About ten minutes later, I heard a putting noise followed by a loud spraying noise and I go to the bathroom to see what the hell happened! The entire right side was drenched and it took me a while to figure out what had actually happened. The water was everywhere, and it took my keen deducting skills (honed by the copious amounts of Criminal Minds I watch) to figure out that it came from the general direction of the geyser. I look up and sure enough, there is a crack. My first word was "crap."

I am getting a little concerned though. Yesterday, the eggs exploded. Today, it was the geyser. I'm just hoping it's not my head that explodes tomorrow! The way things are going though, I wouldn't be too surprised if it's the shampoo bottle or something because I just jinxed it.

Life sure keeps me entertained.