Monday, December 24, 2012

What I write and what it says

I had a very interesting conversation yesterday and read something she had written about accountability in your work. Work being writing, films, pictures, art, etc. About thinking of the consequences, the perceptions, the responses to a particular piece of work.

With the Delhi gang rape case, the shooting in the Connecticut school, the protest against the Cow Slaughter Act, I looked at accountability and owning every piece of what happens in terms of photographs, advertisements, film and television, but never in writing (not news, but leisure) and never in what I've written. I spent the better half of last night going over what I've written, whether its fiction, fan fiction or my own diary and I was a bit unhappy with the results.

To think about what you're writing, about whom and what people's perceptions about it and reactions to it is a massive undertaking, but if I am to call myself a writer, amateur or professional, I should think about it. These thoughts should be in the forefront of my mind and not an after thought. Not a reactive response to someone commenting on my writing.

It did make me ashamed that I had never thought about it, about what my unassuming stereotyping of a person may actually mean to that person, what the consequences of it may be. While I definitely am not as bad as some of the stuff out there, I can't say I'm squeaky clean and what jars me more is that I stand up against stereotyping quite passionately. As a tall, thin girl in a society where the norm is shorter and curvy, I stand out like a palm tree in a paddy field. And I have ranted against people commenting on my size, my diction, my English, my upbringing and the fact that I do get excited about things and don't hide what I feel. And I have stood up for myself and for my friends, not realising that I am doing the exact same thing.

For example, while writing about Emily Prentiss (a character on Criminal Minds), I write about how she likes jazz music because she was brought up in a "rich, cultured home" and is a wealthy, white woman. I don't know why I don't write about her listening to rap music or Carrie Underwood or going to a club for some DnB. It is so automatic for me to write about ballet or the opera for her. That is just a small part. I describe women the way I would like to be described, not realising that maybe it could be offensive to another person, or that people may make assumptions, that in India, that is what women are like, just because I am Indian.

It didn't occur to me that I personally, could influence opinions in a few words. Words that flow naturally to me, but could be alien and maybe even offensive to other people. While I know that I cannot please everyone, and maybe the objective of a piece of writing is to offend a school of thought, but I want to be able to say that it is a conscious decision and not something I think about later, like what I'm doing now.

Being accountable and taking ownership for your words and actually thinking about the consequences before putting it out there is not something that comes easily to me. I'm impulsive and almost rash in my writing. I don't usually let other people look at it before publishing, but now, I will think a little, think about how my characters are shaped, about how people other than me will perceive them. I will be accountable in my work, try to not stereotype and be less judgemental.

There are a lot of excuses I can make, find a million reasons to tell you why I am the way I am, but then again, I can find a zillion reasons to change.

They say, if you want to see change in the world, start from within, well, I'm appalled to say I live in a society that destroys women, has rivers of blood and kills children on whims.

I promise to think, pause, consider and then do. And I also ask you to do the same.

Thank you.