Writers write.

I truly believe that the reason why there is such awful writing on the internet is that a lot of good writers are insecure about their work!!! This fact was brought to light when my friend in university was assigned only the editing of the newsletter because she claimed to have no writing skills. At that time, we were in a hurry, so I took her for her word and she edited. The next time round, she wrote a piece called “The Rise of the Skeletons” which had me in tears of laughter and I wanted to smack myself for not paying attention earlier. It also made me want to rewire her brain because clearly, she has poor judgment. She is one of those hidden, unsuspecting people who suddenly are like “Teri paas Maa hain? Meri paas meri blog hain!”

That was two years ago. It came to light again a few days back, when another friend refused to show me her blog because she believes “it’s horribleee” which is like saying the McDonalds apple pie is crap. My response to that is she was dropped on the head as a child. Sure, is it gourmet cuisine? No. But is it good? Heck yes! I did read her blog (hello Google) and she is laugh-out-loud funny! And that is hard to write!!! Believe me I’ve tried and fallen flat on my face. My nose is crooked. Her writing is so conversational that you feel like she is talking to you and you laugh, only later realizing that you look really weird laughing at your computer screen in a serious office environment.

It’s people like these that make me wonder why some writing is online for the world to see. I would much rather read and laugh, rather than cry at the massacre of the English language or wonder if I can contact the author with some information on mental institutions and psychiatrists.

The concept of insecurity is fascinating, because the people who are truly insecure about their work are usually those who have a bucket load of talent. It’s like sometimes on the road, you see this creature that looks like a stack of Michelin tires wearing clothes that leaves very little to the imagination, not that you would want to imagine that, but the people who would truly look good in those clothes, might as well be wearing gunny bags!

It also makes me wonder what constitutes “good writing” and who judges this? My writing oscillates from writing about heartbreak and exploring love to writing about chips and candy. Literally. Is it “good”? And more importantly, do I care? I guess writing is all about it being relatable and that is subjective. I guess all I can say at this point is that, I enjoyed the writing of my friends and I want to read more.

When I forgot to look!!

You know that time in your life where you just go “what just happened?” Like you go a couple of months without really paying too much attention, and you almost don’t recognize it anymore! In the last two months, I got a new house (as most of you know), I also got two kittens(!!!) with my flatmate Swetha! We’ve named them Cinnamon and Kunai. Now, here is the fun deal. Swetha and I are both doggie people and didn’t know the first thing about kittens. A lot of the stuff we learnt online, like how to get them used to the litter box, what they eat and how much, etc. but there was a lot of stuff the websites didn’t really tell us!

Here is what we learned. The BIGGEST difference from dogs is that cats like to be left alone and not molly coddled. But of course, I’m a molly coddler. I love being mommy and loving a tiny critter to the ends of Earth. It is like my life’s mission. But, I learnt quickly to let them be, give them room and let them explore and trust that they will not fall down the stairs. Cuddle them and suddenly wrinkles on your face is your laaaast worry. You’ll have other lines and give “face reading” a whole new meaning! Another thing I learned the hard way, cats DO NOT like being scratched behind their ears. You do that and they will scratch you in stead! My hands have new lines and my future has been considerable altered I think! It is true. Also, if you get them used to playing with your fingers, they will do so ALL the time. Like even when you’re texting, they will pounce on them. You can’t even scratch yourself without them getting excited! This is after you’ve bought them more toys than you had as a child!

It’s been an adventure so far, and I’m absolutely loving it! The ups and downs make for great dinner table conversation. The horrified expression on my grandmother’s face when I tell her how they climb curtains is priceless. I’m quite assured that I am also a cat person because I love them to bits and pieces and I loveeeee walking in the door to high pitched squeaks which is how they tell me that they are glad I’m home! It really makes my day when they lead me to their food bowl with “feed me human” written on their face. I think I should start a Texts from Cat thing going.

The other big change is my job. I switched jobs and I love this one! It’s custom built for me and is a challenge but I’m super grateful to have really supportive people around! It’s close to home and I’m now balancing my house, my mum’s place, my grans, my work and my friends. I feel quite adult-ish. I still get distracted by lights and colourful things. So not quite all that dignified adult you see. Also, I am NOT plagued by IT issues. Really. I know it’s hard to believe, but the IT helpdesk are not my best friends at work. I do not greet them everyday with “Good morning! Could you please help me with…” Those of you who’ve worked with me, your whaaaaaa expression is valid.

Another change, my friend Maria is now a full on singer! Like she had her first concert, and is composing music and stuff. I get to see her do this entirely cool thing, compose music in the car when we’re (she) driving somewhere! Like where did that even come from??? And all I can sing is “Baby One More Time”! Her concert was insane! I was like yeaaaahhh, that is my friend up there, singing. I’m that cool. I have singer friends. Um, who are you again? :P

My long time friend Kanchan is finally planning on selling her art, which is crazy awesome! She was also in a Kannada movie (Money Shani Honey) which released in theatres!!! I’ve got a Kanchan original in my house! It’s so cool when someone you’ve known since you were nine years old is now a famous actress and is a painter and a whole lot more. It kinda makes you question your life, but then I go, I blog and walk into walls. That just makes me kickass!

Varsha had her Salsa show at the World Dance Congress. I got to see her dance and then made her teach me some basic Salsa steps, which I’ve promptly forgotten. She says she will teach me to dance. I say I will reduce her to tears. One must remember the one year of Bharatnatyam classes I underwent where I had to stop because it took me a year to come in the vicinity of mastering the first certification, that takes 6 months. I can still hear her go “Sit! Sit!” and me try in vain to get the rhythm.

Singer, actress, artist and dancer. All check! I think I need to get into the entertainment industry as a Public Relations officer or a manager. Because clearly, I’ve got the industry covered.

I also got to know Supriyaa  (a friend of  Varsha’s) a little better in the last month. I call her Smiley, because if you saw her smile, you’d call her Smiley also. She would really make a great comedian. She has a LOT of material from her childhood and is a fantastic storyteller. She told me once that I had a fascinating life, but my God, I wholly disagree. This is a girl who when she talks about her childhood, you sit and stare open mouthed because you can’t believe your ears! She once decided to break the Guinness World Record to eat the most amount of glass. She asked her parents how the person on TV did that and then when they replied “with practice”, our girl here decided to chew on a lamp bulb. Only realizing that she couldn’t when her entire mouth started bleeding!!!!!!! The disclaimer “Do not try this at home” was clearly written with her in mind.

Another brilliant escapade was when she decided that like the cartoons, she wanted to become flat, like a pancake, so that she can blow herself up by blowing on her thumb (read Tom and Jerry, Road Runner) so she stood in between two elevator doors, letting them slam into her and stopping when the neighbour brought her mum to rescue her, from herself. Then she cried in the night because she couldn’t blow herself back to size. And she narrated these stories with a huge grin while I looked at her and Googled the number for NIMHANS (a mental hospital). I don’t see how I am fascinating. Really. I get chased by animals. She voluntarily gets squished.

Another crazy awesome new thing is the sudden influx of musicians in my life! I absolutely love it, even though I’m tone deaf. But you know what, I have been inspired to write songs! Like I wrote four lines for a song and even had a tune in my head for it! I never write songs! I’m SO thrilled!!!!

Now, with all this change and newness in my life, there HAVE to be some things that are the same. Now please, can you think of one thing that would be the same in my life? If you’re thinking cows, you got it!!! On Tuesday, it rained heavily, and I was running from the bus stop to my house, only to get chased. By what you ask? A Camel? A dinosaur? Noooooo. By the great giant cow!!! I ran into the nearest house I found only to be thrown back out onto the street by the very nice guard dog growling at me. Sigh. At least there is some normalcy in my life.

Then, I walked home, missing the downpour by two seconds. Literally. But I did come home to a postcard on my doorstep, which made Monday a lot better as I had just learned that I would be spending the next two days in the office that is on the other side of the world (well almost cause LA would have been cool :P).

It’s so weird when you just let your life slide a little and suddenly there is SO much change and you actually need to take some down time and catch up! Anyway, here’s to the next big adventure! Being chased by monkeys. Or something like that! 

The Mystery of the Mysterious Paw Prints!

I walked into my new, pristine, freshly painted house. Looked around, took a deep breath and thought "This is mine!" and jumped up and down in excitement. little did I know that the house was already occupied!!!

I sat down, waiting for the plumber to come, so that he could fix some leaks my flatmate and I had identified. I looked at the wall next to me and let out a little squeak. There were paw prints on the wall. Like actual paw prints where you could see the toes and the pad. What the hell. Now I live on the ground floor. First reaction - it is a RAT! We have giant rats in Bangalore called "Perchadi" in my language, or Bandicoot rat. Not like the cute Australian one. These are GIANT gutter rats.

The other option of my mystery flatmate was a cat. Man, was I hoping it was a cat. Or even a Mongoose. That would have been okay also. Just, no giant rat. I took pictures and sent it to everyone I knew who had cats, or knew anything about them. Everyone responded with "I am not sure" or "I doubt it's a cat". Now, I was psyched. Maybe it was a one time thing. who knows, the house is empty, whatever was running through my head. I purposely left the wind open and went back to my mum's place. The next day when I walked in, there were more paw prints. Shoot. 

I then told my mum about it and she very calmly said, oh they are bandicoot prints. I freaked out. I was moving in that day. At 5pm, I shut ALL the windows in the house and when it was time to go to bed, I shut the kitchen door, went up to my bedroom, shut that door too. I couldn't sleep. I live in an apartment where there is SO much noise coming from everywhere that I couldn't distinguish where the noise was coming from. Gah! At around 3am, I texted my flatmate, who was moving in the next day, and she, being the evil creature that she is, told me "Maybe it is already in the house, hiding in the cupboard under the stairs". I flipped out. I needed to sort this out. So I took a broom, put on all the lights and went downstairs, checked the cupboard and the entire house. It wasn't there. Phew. I have no idea what I would have done if there indeed was a rat in the cupboard. Screamed and then tried to chase it out the main door I guess.

There were no new paw prints after that, and I calmed down. As the weeks went by, one day, I noticed four cats in the apartment compound. I asked the watchman and he said that they live in the building and near by. Mystery solved. It was a cat. It definitely wasn't a rat because with four cats around, then the rat population should be non existent. So yay!

It was fully confirmed this morning, when I came downstairs after I woke up and saw a cat chilling on my divan. It bolted out the window when it saw me. I had forgotten to close one window last night and it had come in. Therefore, I can now proclaim that the mystery of the mysterious paw prints hereby resolved!

The battle!

This is basically a rant and some self counseling about being positive! 

Of late, there has been so much negativity going around, with so many people harping on the misfortunes that life hands them. It's so easy to fall into that trap and I've seen myself doing so, worrying about things that aren't working out, blaming people, cribbing and bitching and I've realised that I've missed out on being happy about the MANY good things in my life!

The other day, I visited my dog Gypsy at the cemetery and I wanted to scream and cry at life because she isn't in mine anymore and that it just wasn't fair. I became depressed and was in such a funk, trying to be cheerful and not go to my room and just hug my stuffed monkey and sulk. Yesterday, I spoke to my aunt about her and I realised that though she was sick, she passed away before she could feel any pain. She lived a happy life and was at her doggiest best when she left and I need to be happy that someone I loved so much went through life with maybe the regret of "I wish I had more Kaju Katli!" She is brighter than the sun in my life and I need to get to a place where I have nothing but happy feelings when I think about her!

The battle to stay positive is hard when all everyone talks about is negative. My friend was in a really bad accident and I was so happy and relieved that she was okay and her usual fun self! But it was almost wiped out when all everyone else could talk about was how much worse things could have been and how bad it was!!! And I just wanted to shake them and go but it's not! Now leave it! I really don't get the need to say stuff like that or think about it with that thought even!

Another big crazy thing that's going around like some epidemic is the whole "Do you think that person likes me?/Does that person still love me?". I am definitely am/have been a part of it and it is exhausting trying to figure out someone else's head! Sometimes, it's fun and distracting, but when you let it become your be all and end all, dude, you get whiny and repetitive and obsessive and not in a good way! I feel if you like/love that person, you should just do so and stop worrying about what the other person is feeling. If they like/love you, they'll let you know! We need to stop cribbing about stuff and just be happy that he/she called or texted and enjoy spending time with him/her.

I truly believe in the power of thoughts, vibes and energy. I believe that the more we want something, with just the thing that it makes us happy driving it, the Universe will give it to you! I believe that the more negative we are, the worse things can get.

I'm trying to write ten positive things about my day (since March) and it's getting easier to do so every day. The first time, I could find only 3, which was pathetic, because it showed me how warped my thinking was and how cloaked in negativity I was. Today, I can write at least 8 without thinking about it.

I feel like my mindset is changing, slowly, but I'm happy I'm working towards it. I need to start working with energy and try to figure out ways to focus mine. It's quite all over the place right now, so even daily life feels hectic. Now that I'm back at work, I feel like I can get into my routine again and get some order in this chaos!

I hope things get better as the days pass and happiness overtakes all that awful negativity!

Bucket List - 26

Every year, on/near my birthday, I make a bucket list for that year. I made one for when I was 25 and I'm making one for my 26th year on this planet. I struck off a lot of things from my earlier bucket list like - visiting a new country (Singapore and Malaysia), I got a second chance at love, I got a job, I made truce with the bovine, I kinda met an internet friend, I rode the metro, I tried new cuisines and new things, I started whining less and being more positive and a whole bunch of other stuff. But most importantly, I walked AND DANCED in heels!

Here is the list for 26!

1) Get an apartment
2) Get my MBA degree
3) Learn to drive
4) Visit a new country on my own
5) Learn one thing new every month
6) Get guinea pigs
7) Learn to sing at least one song well
8) Get better at ignoring the drama
9) Read poetry at Urban Solace (this is a scary one!)
10) Keep a "good things" journal. Write in it EVERY DAY!
11) Join yoga class and then contortions
12) No broken bones
13) Get published.
14) Get back in touch with an old friend
15) Visit Mumbai (Swats, Swaha and Tony!)
16) Learn to dance
17) Get a toned body
18) Do one huge arty thing that is NOT writing, no matter how shitty it is, just do it!
19) Learn to be patient and not react instinctively.
20) Be more forward with thoughts and opinions.
21) Write fiction. Prose. Can be an essay, a story, whatever. But no autobiographical stuff.
22) Do something once a week that will make someone really happy, but expect nothing in return.
23) Stop being afraid.
24) Learn to cook Indian food.
25) Take mum out on a vacation
26) Learn to let go and not plan obsessively.

There you have it. I hope things work out this year!! :D

Romy's wisdom

Things I've learned over time and would like to pass on this wisdom.

1) You will always have one species of animals against you. If it's not cows, its moths.
2) No matter how much you promise yourself that you wont, you will walk into a large vehicle once a month.
3) You will get into a tiff with Aloka once a week, but you will still continue to be good friends.
4) You will fall off the bed, at least once a month.
5) You will have random dreams about people that you talk to a lot that night.
6) You will always have spelling issues. You will look at a word like referral and convince yourself referal is the right spelling.
7) You will start to not be able to finish a dessert.
8) You will become mildly allergic to everything you love, starting with pineapple, chocolate and so on.
9) You will start to get organised. More so than you already are. Then you will match your clothes.
10) You will learn to love, but you will also learn to define boundaries.
11) You will not get your fourth wisdom tooth for a very long time. But it's a good thing because you can blame all your silly mistakes on that.
12) You will have "old friends". They will be both, people you've known for a long time and friends who are your mum's age! Who knew.
13) You will still love butterflies, colours and shiny things. They make you believe in the good that the universe has to offer.
14) You will still prefer animals to humans and you will avoid interacting with children at all costs. Apart from Dhruv, but seeing him twice a year isn't too bad.
15) You will discover people who are mini yous. This will be a little scary as your first reaction will be "Hey! Give me me back!"
16) You will suddenly worry about nutrition, and a full meal.
17) You will start hoping your metabolism holds, and when you gain that one kilo, you will worry that it will be the one of many! And you don't want to look like a building.
18) You will wear heels and feel great in them. But you will still hesitate to wear them again.
19) One day, you will feel comfortable with yourself. Then you will be content with life. I'm still waiting for that day.
20) You will get a dimple and smile lines from laughing a lot. Embrace them because they only depict the joy you've had. Others are not so lucky.
21) You will still want a deeper dimple.
22) Your favourite colour will still be purple, but you will like fuchsia a lot more. You will learn new colours like fuchsia that you will have to Google to spell.
23) If you dream big and are determined, it will happen.
24) You will still wish upon 11:11 and mail vans and cross your fingers at ravens.
25) You will be afraid. Afraid that you wont succeed, afraid at the little you've accomplished before you're 26, afraid that you aren't ready to be an adult, afraid of losing love.
26) Last, but not the least, when you truly, truly look at yourself, you will be happy with who you are, with what you've done with your life and feel lucky to be alive and loved!

Evicted!!

If you follow me on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram, you'll know that I had a new roommate for four days. If you don't, well here it is. I had a roommate for four days.

The difference between this roommate and my previous roommates is that she only occupied the bathroom and she wasn't exactly the two legged variety. She wasn't even a four legged furry roomie. She was what you would know as a common leaf insect. If you were being particular, she was a Euphasmida. I called her Leafy.

She gave me an awful shock when I first met her, staring at me, all bright green! I didn't really want to share my room and especially my bathroom. My most memorable moment with her was when I was taking a shower, the lights flickered and she flew around. I screamed and pretty much sat on the floor all scrunched up hoping she would go away. It didn't happen. Of course, I was an idiot to hope because, have you met me???? I have no such luck!

I had to get Leafy evicted. She was tormenting me too much and I really didn't find it "cool" anymore. There in, started the process. 

First, I shooed her towards the window, hoping that if I got her close enough, she would go on her own. Apparently that was being too hopeful. She wanted to fight me every step of the way. She flew onto my towel and clung onto it for deal life, while I clung onto my racing heart as it threatened to run away from me. I pulled my towel down from off the rack, wrapped her up and with an arm's distance, ran through the house with her till we reached outside. 

Now that she was outside my house, I still wanted my towel back (it's my hello kitty towel!) but there was no way I was going near it. I then asked my maid, hoping she was braver than I was to help. She walked over, unwrapped my towel, picked up Leafy (like it was no big deal), laughed her behind off at me and my stricken face and then let her go in a tree. 

Then, after this dramatic, traumatic escapade, I had to get ready for work. What a morning.

Dear Leafy, I hope you are well. Take care and please DO NOT come back. Much.... yeah well. Romy.

Happy New Year!!!!

Hey guys!!! Happy New Year! Hope this one brings only goodness, joy and cheer!

I struck something off my bucket list this year by going to Goa for the New Year. It was one massive adventure and insane amounts of fun!

It started off with an insane FIVE hour flight, stopping through Hyderabad and Pune. Now the direct flight is just 50 minutes. We flew for 45 minutes, landed, stayed on the plane for another 45 minutes, landed, stayed on the plane for 45 minutes and then flew for 30 minutes! Sheesh. By the time we reached Goa, we were totally ready to get off and run. Move our legs, not sit next to strangers and squalling babies. Yes, there were squalling babies on the plane, and of course, in the seat behind me. Not cool. Like my cousin, Smriti, said, planes need to have a soundproof, "family" class. All babies must go there.

Once we reached Goa, we made our way to our hotel, which also turned out to be an Irish pub called Molly Malones! So fun! We relaxed for a bit in the hotel and then, my friend Darren took our starving tummies out to lunch and a little tour of Goa with the churches, Portuguese houses and the long windy roads. Making our way back to the hotel, we then hit the Goa party scene! Good lord, I have never seen so many people and more over, so many men!

Smriti told me that parties where there is an over population of men are called "Sausage Fests". It took me a while to figure out why it was called that! Yes, yes, laugh all you want. She also introduced me to new words like "Cray-Cray". It means crazy, for those who are too busy laughing to grasp the meaning. Apparently it was in some song. But Smriti used it before the song came out. I still haven't decided how I feel about that!

Also, words like "totes", "ridic" and "lates" were used.

With day one done, we hauled out exhausted behinds back to the hotel at 4am (which is VERY late for me as my city shuts down at 11:30pm and you're in bed by midnight!) and we slept in. On day two, which is new years eve, we met my friends Suresh, Thomas and Krissy and went beach hopping, to Baga, Anjuna and Morjim. We ended up scouting some parties near Morjim, which was a massive adventure as they were hard to find and charged a whopping Rs. 5000 to "party till the sunrise". I'm sorry, I am not living my life according to Dancing Till The Sun Comes Out by Pixie Lott.

We ended up hanging out on the beach, in a shack with DJ Sergei spinning some tunes (clearly popular in Russia). It was his first gig and we were happy to support him. Now it was us five and a massive group of Russians on the beach dancing and celebrating. It was, in Goan terms, quiet. Now here is the fun part.

We danced with the Russians, well two Russian women, one of who was obsessed with my cousin's hair. She kept lifting it in wonder! It was hilarious. Another fun thing that happened was that we were all on the beach laughing and joking till some firecrackers (read rockets) came directly at us, chasing us down the beach! Yes it was a little dangerous, but hilarious also, because my cousin who isn't too fond of them was all "this is why crackers are bad!" Hahaha! It was funny. My new years consisted of dancing to Russian music with Russians and getting chased by firecrackers on a beach. Somehow, even my "quiet" new year was anything but!

Day three consisted of us going shack hopping on Baga, trying ice cream with liqueur, paneer tikka and just relaxing. Trying to catch up with everything that had happened on the 31st. It also didn't help that we had a flight at 4am, so we had to leave for the airport at 2am. So we wound up by 10 and decided to get a few hours of sleep.

All in all, it was fun and fantastic! I loved that we did it, but I can promise you one thing. Not again. I think I'm a very dinner, drinks and board games kinda gal!

Beachy times!!!

Yes yes. I had to write in the sand!

  My cousin Smriti and me at Molly Malones!