First impressions are important. It was almost a religious rule when I was growing up, I was literally raised to make a great first impression. I also chose to take people at my first impression of them, whether they made a good one or not.
It's only today, navigating the corporate world, I see how important first impressions are, and how much of a difference they make. I'm so grateful to my mum who taught me not to fidget, to speak clearly, to have good table manners, to not shake my leg, to dress well, to be groomed, etc. I did rebel in the whole "I don't care what people think of me, I am like this only" way, but today I realise, whether I like it or not, whether I am an advocate for individuality or not, the society I live in is conditioned a certain way, and if I want to get ahead, I need to behave a certain way and have them perceive me a certain way.
Is it fake? Am I selling out? What happened to that girl who was the don't-care-master? Well, she grew up, became more practical and realised that if her dreams were to be accomplished, there has to be compromise. People don't get to where they are by breaking the rules. If they do, then they are the exception and we all cannot be exceptions.
Recently in a "dating situation", I realised how much I was judging the other person by their behaviour, by what they said, if their elbows were on the table, if they shook their leg constantly, how they were groomed and it was funny because I am pretty sure that I am constantly being judged by the same things.
The tricky thing is how do you follow society's norms but retain your individuality? Who decides what is the appropriate etiquette in what situation and how is this decided? Do you also judge people on first meeting or do you give them multiple chances to make up their mind?
As much as I would like to say that i don't judge and I'm completely open minded, I know that I cannot. While I feel like I am being more tolerant, learning now to give people second chances, I am also pretty sure I come across as judgy. I guess, the only way that I feel that I am not a hypocrite is that if I judge you and make up my mind about you in the first meeting, then you are free to do the same. Maybe people say I lack individuality and I am not experimental enough and I have become a corporate drone. Like if you have weird visible tattoos in a business meeting, I will be hesitant to take you seriously, even though I have tattoos myself. Maybe that is hypocritical, but I truly believe that there is a time and place for everything. I guess, right now, at 27, me career is everything I want to invest in, grow and develop!
I love that rush that approval gets me, a good rating, a promotion, an award, an email commending me on my work. I love networking and later seeing opportunities come from that networking. There are some things I will not compromise upon, but there are some things that I will happily do so. Not wear a butterfly clip in a business meeting is something I can easily do. If that is giving up my individuality, then so be it. I can be the eccentric Director, after I grow to that position. Till then, you gotta do what you gotta do, I guess.
I love jumping up and dancing in my own house, or on the road, or in a mall, but not in my office, because these people and their perceptions have an impact on my life. Even if I am the best at what I do, if the people who are decision makers in my career have a bad impression of me, I know I can kiss that job/project/role goodbye.
It's fun to see my ideals shift, priorities shift and personality mature. I love reading my earlier diaries and looking back at the person that I was, and who I am now and what has shaped me into being this way. I wish I could jump ahead 10 years and see who I will be then and what my priorities are and read this blog and either say how right I am or how wrong I am!
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