One of those mornings - times a thousand!

This morning can clearly be described as one of those mornings where *everything* goes wrong!

My morning routine was messed up because I let Gyp sleep in. She was on my bed and was fast asleep and I just didn't have the heart to wake her up for our walk. I decided that I'd get ready for work and then take her. We went for a slightly longer walk and I had to pretty much rush out. I put her breakfast in her bowl, kept fresh water, grabbed my bag and ran out the door.

There was no power, so I raced down the stairs. I live on the fifth floor of an apartment building. As I ran down the stairs, I felt something digging into me in my pocket. When I reached the lobby, I found some money folded inside my pocket. I opened my bag to put the cash into my wallet, only to realise that I had left my wallet behind! I raced back up, to get my wallet and then ran back down the stairs. While I was getting out of the building, I realised I was wearing shoes that I walk Gypsy in!!! Not meant for office wear. I had to run back up and put on my shoes. Then I raced back down, by this time quite tired!

I made it to the bus stop and caught the bus. It was empty and I scored a seat that makes you face the rest of the bus! A couple of stops later, a cute guy walks in and sits some rows away, but we can see each other because his seat is elevated. I'm smiling and he's smiling and it's all going well. Then, a guy who is totally not my type sits next to him and the next time I smile at cute boy, he thinks I'm smiling at him and grins back! EW! I was like, no freaking way, in my head. I then just put my head down and didn't look up at cute guy or not so cute guy.

The lady sitting opposite me got off a few stops later and then, to my horror, not so cute guy comes and sits in her seat!!!!! Ack! Now while I'm panicking, I am running what a horrid morning this has been, when I realise I didn't put any make-up on!!! I totally forgot to put my trademark eye-liner!!! It just feels weird without it. Kinda like forgetting your cell phone.

Then, when Vishwa and I went for our walk, we almost got chased by a cow and we saw a bull with one ginormous testicle! It was the funniest sight ever! I forgot my camera so I couldn't vlog this or take pictures! Will always take my camera when I step out from now on. Lesson well learnt!

Also, while walking into work this morning, our access turnstile whacked me on my behind as I moved it! It's looks like this -

That thing you tell yourself not to do.

You know how there are some things you tell your self not to do, but then do it anyway? I'm not talking about some major life changing decision, but about the little things. Let's take me for an example.

Today, I had a craving to eat McAlooTikki from McDonalds. I don't know why, but when I passed the McDonalds on the way to work at 8:45am this morning, I had this sudden urge. I wanted to get off and wait till it opened and get the burger. I shook my head, hung on till 1pm and decided to get it. Now I need to take the bus to get to mcDonalds. So I went to the bus stop and stood on the curb. I was standing close to the curb, because when it isn't rush hour, the bus doesn't really hang around till you amble into the bus.

As I saw the bus approaching, I reminded myself that I was close to the curb and that I mustn't fall off. Now I should have realised that once I reminded myself not to, it was going to happen. Sure enough, the bus came to a stop and I went crashing into the side, because my foot sliped off the curb! Luckily there were only about 20 people on the bus who laughed at me. This was only because there were 20 people on the bus. I shook my head and went in.

Has this ever happened to you? There has been a time when I've been walking on a footpath (which is elevated) that is next to a gutter type thing. I've told myself that I must not walk into the gutter and promptly fallen off the footpath because I simply walked away from the gutter, not realisng that the footpath is only 5 feet wide! (I think I may have mentioned this earlier)

Or, while walking, you see cow poop a bit ahead and go "Oh cow poop! I must not step in it" and then forget and step right in it when you approach it! The same principle is applied with a rock and tripping over it!

It also works when I'm carrying something and someone else says, "don't drop it" I'll drop it. Or if someone (by that I mean my grandmother!) says "Don't fall down the stairs, go slowly", guess who's at the end of the stairs with a very painful bottom?

Please tell me this happens to you guys too and I'm not the only person who's wires are mostly crossed in the head?

Ten things that you do to cause you pain and embarrassment.

1) Push your roley chair too far back so that when you sit, you end up sitting on the floor. This - while you are on the phone with your boss. It's entertainment for the rest of the office.

2) Walk on the elevated footpath, with a gutter next to you and think to yourself "I must avoid the gutter" and then walk off the footpath unconsciously (because you are walking away from the gutter) and end up on the ground in a heap of limbs. Yoga helps when you untangle yourself.

3) Walk into so many table corners, that they now fit perfectly into your hip. Like your body made the space for the table corner. It's a medical marvel I tell you.

4) Choose to subdue hiccups with coke, swallow it while hiccupping and have it gush out your nose. Classy I say. Boys will be lining up outside your door. If done at work, you will be the most popular person there.

5) Convince your half asleep self, that there is room on the other side and turn - off the bed. Then, be too sleepy to get back up, so sleep on the stone floor and crib about aches, cricks and bruises the next morning. Always a crowd pleaser.

6) Walk into a wall. This, especially done when not texting, not on the phone, not talking to anyone else, basically giving the wall your undivided attention, is always guaranteed to cause the most amount of embarrassment. But be aware that this must not be done on purpose.

7) Pick up a sleeping hamster. Make sure that the said hamster is fast asleep, wake it up, then put your hand in the cage to agitate it some more. Then when the hamster is clinging on to the pad of your hand, shake the hand violently so that the puncture wound rips further. Then be puzzled as to why your hamster bit you and why it's bleeding so much. Oh yes, one must not forget to faint and hit your very bony joints hard on the floor.

8) Trip. While walking, make sure you choose the uneven bit of the concrete ground, carry your 14 kilo dog and then tip forward. When falling, avoid injuring the dog by falling on your elbows. This will make sure that the dog escapes unharmed, but will leave you with bloody, bruised elbows. Movies must be made of this techniques. I do not volunteer.

9) In a bus, sit on a seat that has no handles on either side, almost like a cushioned stool nailed to the floor. Then be so focused on your Ipod that you do not notice the bus's movements on the road. When the bus breaks, follow Newton's first Law of Motion and fall on the floor. Then laugh so loud at yourself that your neighbour asks another person if you're mentally retarded. And is serious.

10) Now the last point - When talking to a cow, be sure to look it straight in the eye and smile. This will make the cow chase you and tell all the other cows about you so that they too will chase you upon sight. If you are not fast enough running away, make sure you have padding on your back because you will be butt.

All these methods have been tried and tested. But make sure you understand the repercussions and the ramifications of the above actions.

Note: No animals were harmed in the activities mentioned above.

Them bumpy rides!

After being scared witless by my mother (she appeared behind me in the mirror and said my name out real loud), I was officially running late. As I ran out of the house, I called my bus-mate (is that even a word?) and told him that I was indeed coming and asked him to get the bus to wait for me. I ran up the kilometer or so to my stop to realise the bus was late. Ah Murphy. How I hate you. Anyway, the bus was full so I had to get a seat in the back.

If you are like me, then you also hate those back seats cause every pothole, every bump is magnified. After being thrown up in the air about twenty times, I realised that trying to jump on a trampoline is off my life-list. Ive already done it on the dang bus. It also reinforced that I do indeed have the Bony-Ass-Syndrome. It hurts.

Oh well, in other news, my doggie didn't meet that Pom so yayness! I also did something stupid and forgot my wallet at home. I am now penniless for the day. Hate hate hate when this happens! I'll keep you all updated about the many adventures today promises. To start with, I have a presentation to make. I dunno who to wish good luck, me or my audience!

Good Girls Go Bad

Do you good people have hamsters? If you do, then you'll know that those things have real sharp teeth! I wanted to clean out my hamster (Addison Lorelai) cage, so I attempted to pick her up. I did pick her up, but not the way I planned. See, she bit into the pad of my hand (the ones at the base of your fingers)and proceeded to cling on when I drew my had away! Bloody hell that hurt! I was literally trying to shake off a hamster clinging onto my hand with her teeth!!!! Doofus puncture wound wouldn't stop bleeding and I promptly fainted at the sight of my gushing blood. What's new there huh? This was a while ago, but I am telling you now. Oh well.

The other supremely funny thing that happened was that I got into work about 15 minutes early the other day. Now I sit in this enclosure with a door. This door is usually open and I didn't even know they locked it. I found out they did. How? Well, It's one of those automatically shutting doors so you have to use force to shove it open. I am small, so I pretty much have to use most of my energy to push it open. Guess who shoved herself into the door trying to get it open on that early morning? The security guy was laughing when he unlocked it for me! Embarassment much? It didn't hurt as much as the wall though.

Another thing I remembered was that when you use public transport, you end up having to run after busses quite a bit. When you do so, you scream things like "Stop!" or "Wait!". No, no. When I run after a bus I scream "Excuse me! Excuse me!". I realised I was doing this after the first time this happened, and I smacked myself on the head thinking how stupid I was. The next time it happened, I'll give you 3 guesses to guess what I screamed. Yeah. Excuse me.

Ringtones are another issue for me. You all have heard "Good Girls Go Bad" by Cobra Starship featuring Leighton Meester yes? Well, that is my ringtone. Now, it's a workday. I am my desk, typing away, and all is quiet. Now my phone goes off, "I make them good girls go bad" and I answer "Hey mom! What's up?". Let's just say my colleagues had a real good laugh!

In other news, I saw the new Parenthood promo with Lauren Graham! It's so kick ass!!! I love it! She literally growls and charges at her daughter when she says "Oh her bark is worse than her bite" Love it!!!! Now if only she'd join Twitter like all the other good celebs!