How to explode an egg!

If you follow me on Twitter or know me personally, you know my eggsploding escapades. Well, this is a post teaching one how to do it perfectly, from start to finish, with helpful tips!

First, this method must be done by boiling eggs in a saucepan over the stove. No fancy egg-boiler machine thing will work.

Now, you set the eggs to boil and your timer for 8 minutes. You then leave your kitchen and take said timer with you. Then, figuring you have 8 minutes to kill, you can watch a YouTube video or the start of a TV show before the opening credits... Something.

The timer goes off. You march back into the kitchen and look at the eggs. Now, the water hasn't really decreased, so how boiled can they really be right? So you go back to your video / playing with your dog / reading your book / talking to your friend / whatever it was that you were doing.

Then suddenly, you hear some thudding noise and the smell hits you. You squawk like an inelegant chicken and run into the kitchen, switch off the stove and look in dismay. The saucepan is black and charred, egg pieces are ALL over the kitchen and the smell that causes you to literally rush back to the loo and hurl!

Once you're sure your stomach is emptied, you open all the windows in the house and put on the fans! This is because, in a matter of seconds, the burnt egg smell has taken over your house. You have to use room freshener to mask the smell. Here is a tip. DO NOT use lavender. It makes the smell so bad that you have to take a very long walk! Use freesia and ocean breeze. These work well. I speak from experience. trust me.

Then you put the saucepan under running water to cool it down and then you scrape off the eggs with a plastic spoon, which can be ditched. Once that is done, you pour water into the saucepan and leave it there for a few minutes while you go egg hunting. Which basically is finding the pieces of exploded egg around your kitchen. Then you get back to the saucepan, scrub it like there is no tomorrow and it is done.

Another round of room freshener, some water for you to hydrate yourself after this ordeal and then you swear to yourself, never again!

Then, just like it says on the shampoo bottle - lather, rinse and repeat, you boil, explode and clean.