My animal grudges!

1) COWS - They have conspired to hate me. I have been chased, butt, peed on, stepped in their poop and have been held hostage behind a car for 10 minutes! It all started when I was 12 and brushed a cow while volunteering at an animal shelter. Good deed gone bad? Bitches the lot of them are. Oh yeah, butting a car that I was in is uncool also.

2) Cats - The way they rub against you is frankly creeptacular! And you cannot predict their emotions. Once scratched, ever shy. Kittens are cute though!

2) Hamsters - Cute as hell, love them except when they cling to the pad of my hand with their teeth. I'd rather they perform their acrobatics elsewhere. Preferably where I wont bleed.

4) Pigeons - They are filthy rats with wings. I do not appreciate their shedding, their coming into my room and pooping all over the place, their incessant cooing or the allergies I have! Ugly lil shits! become extinct!

5) Elephants - I dislike the fact that you let a lady get on you without any qualms and put up a fuss when I tried to get on. I was 1/52389705818034612785th her weight! I also don't appreciate the fact that your baby, who was taller than I was, chased me round the paddock into the bloody jungle where I was scratched.

6) Chicken (hens) - They chased me when I was 2 months old and was in a pram!!! What the hell did I do to them??? And over the years have clucked at me viciously every time I passed by! I don't even eat them!

7) Geese - So did not like them damaging my luggage when I walked by them at a resort. Hie! That is mine! Go find something else to attack!

That's about it for now... I'll add to this list as and when things occur to me. And there will be more!