10 things...

So my friend wrote this in her blog, that is so freaking funny and true that I simply felt that I must share -

1: Microsoft Word and Excel. Piece of crap! Especially the older versions, as they're almost impossible to format.
2: People who don't put the toilet paper on ready and rearing to pull.
3: Those who chew gum. Can not stand the chomping and POPPING! Plus I don't want to see the dang thing rolling around in your mouth!
4: People who eat noisily! Can not stands slurping and sloshing, or licking of fingers! That is a big NO, NO!
5: Cough Etiquette! PLEASE do not give me your change after having a royal fit into the palm of your hand. You have a shoulder. Use it. Cough into it. And for goodness sakes turn your head. I don't need to be contaminated with your fungal infection.
6: People who tail gate me when I am already illegally driving above the speed limit! Damn brother. You push my buttons. It is flipping annoying!
7: Those who decide to get their lawn mowed RIGHT ON 7AM!! Lord it is always the day I can sleep in!
8: Smokers...urgh when I get a massive whiff of your ex-inhaled smoke. It sits in my lungs and I can feel the tar sticking.
9: Bus drivers! So many of them are such arses, and their always late, or freakn early! I swear the amount of time I have wasted waiting for buses.
10: Telephone calls. We get 20+ at home. And they're ALWAYS FOR MY BROTHER or some retard trying to sell me DRAIN REPAIR!

Here are mine -

1) I detest people who sniff!! Go blow your nose!
2) People who cannot hang up! The whole "You hang up first" thing makes me want to chuck your phone into the loo!
3) Oye you noisy chewers, shut your mouth! I do not want to hear that smacking. I do not want to see food rolling about! I'd like to keep my apetite!
4) People who curse cause you think it's cool! It is not cool! It is crude and rude!
5) People who stare. What, you've never seen a woman in your life? Yeah I'm tall and thin, get over it!
6) Do NOT pet my dog without asking me! I will get my other imaginary dog that rival Cujo and set him on you if you pet my baby without my consent.
7) The loud talking on the phone. I do not want to know what's going on. Your life is of no interest to me. Either lower your voice or go to a soundproof room!
8) You lil kids, don't call me aunty because I'm taller. I am not related to you and I am not old!
9) Please get that if I do not answer your call, reply to your messages and tell you to get lost, I mean it. Do not call me, text me, wave hi on the road, because I want nothing to do with you. Get it?
10) Finally, the thing I hate most is a recorded call in the middle of the afternoon when I'm napping! Stop calling me! Harrassment.

There. Not as funnily written, but I do have 10 things! My friend is at http://alinatherantingllama.blogspot.com